Janet and Bill

On Tuesday, Janet and her husband Bill received the news they’d been dreading. It was confirmed she likely had Alzheimer’s. There was some ambiguity, suggesting it might have been ‘mild cognitive impairment.’ Janet’s symptoms were mild. Not so much forgetfulness, more….. withdrawnness and an occasional fuzziness.

The diagnosis wasn’t exactly a surprise. They had both expected it, even while they wished it away. Both felt deep fear about what the future would bring.

But Bill had made a solemn promise to the woman he married 40 years earlier: that this was another stage on their journey together and that he would be there alongside her. He’d done some research on the internet and came across Dementia Voices. He began to read authentic first person accounts of living with a diagnosis of dementia. These didn’t shy from the challenges, or pretend dementia was a walk in the park. But they did offer a sense of hope and possibility he’d not come across elsewhere. He discovered that there could be several years ahead where Janet’s symptoms might not be so profound as to prevent them doing things they loved to do together, like going for walks, taking holidays and going out for meals. It permitted him to think about a future with plans in it. A diagnosis of dementia was definitely life changing it said, but not life ending.

Of course Bill found it hard to put this way of thinking to Janet, but on the Thursday morning she had opened up the conversation and they had begun to talk together about their future. Some of their conversation was inevitably bleak, but it also reaffirmed their love for one another and allowed them to think about the life they still had to lead. They would do so until dementia made it impossible to.

On Friday evening, Bill picked up fish and chips from the chippy, while Janet made a pot of tea and buttered some bread. They sat down together to watch their favourite soap, Coronation Street. It wasn’t what it used to be but old habits die hard.

The ad break came on. A man is standing at a wake…..